Do Less. A Harm Reduction Guide for Navigating the Food on Thanksgiving
Your Harm Reduction Guide to Navigating Thanksgiving
Let's be honest: Thanksgiving is our culture's national hall pass for binge eating. For those of us with eating disorders (active or recovered), disordered eating habits, or frankly, for anyone who finds the holiday food gauntlet stressful, it can feel like a setup!
In a climate of intense social media pressure and family expectations, showing up without a strategy is a recipe for regret. This is your harm reduction guide to navigating the day with your well-being intact.
1. Make a Plan (Don't Wing It)
The most crucial step happens before you even leave the house. The reason having a plan is so helpful is because its like creating a map so that when you get lost (emotionally) you can find your way out. Making a plan in wise mind, even if the plan doesn’t go according to plan, is still a really effective way to cope ahead.
If you haven't decided about the pie before you arrive, your "addict brain" will happily make the decision for you. A plan, any plan, puts your thinking brain in the driver's seat. Think through the day, identify potential triggers, and decide on your non-negotiables. My favorite cope ahead question is, “How do I want to feel when this is over?” Use that feeling as a north star when making the plan.
The Balanced Plan: "I'll eat a balanced breakfast, stick to veggies and cheese for appetizers, then fill my plate with protein and greens, leaving a small space for a few bites of my favorites like stuffing and mashed potatoes. If I want more, I'll load up on veggies first."
The "One Plate" Rule: "I am going to enjoy one plate of whatever I want, with no restrictions, and then I am done. No seconds and no dessert."
The Connection Plan: "My primary goal is to connect with people. I will have a plate of food that feels safe and low stakes, and then focus my energy on conversation, food is not the main event."
Visualize your plan. See yourself moving through the day skillfully. This mental rehearsal is far more effective than just showing up and hoping for the best.
2. Meal Regulation. Eat Consistently (Don't "Save Up" Calories)
One of the biggest mistakes is skipping meals to "save up" for the big one. This inevitably backfires. Restriction almost always leads to a binge, and showing up to a feast starving is a biological setup for impulsivity. Eat a balanced breakfast and a snack. You can still enjoy the Thanksgiving meal, and you'll be making conscious choices instead of reacting to primal hunger. Also, meal regulation is a very important component for emotion regulation and decreasing vulnerability to emotion minded behaviors.
3. Spot the Justifications (Your AIBs, Apparently Irrelevant Behaviors)
In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), we call them Apparently Irrelevant Behaviors (AIBs) the small, seemingly harmless thoughts that pave the road to permission or impulsive behaviors you’ll likely regret later. The biggest problem with disordered eating is that it speaks to you in your own voice. Recognize it, so you can challenge it. Make a list.
Watch out for these common offenders and note a wise minded challenge statement to pair it with:
"It's Thanksgiving! It only comes once a year." Try this instead: “I can have whatever food I want to have any time. what matters today is that I feel connected to my recovery and my wise mind.”
"I don't want to be difficult or high-maintenance." Try this instead: “My family and friends love me and know how hard I am working on my recovery, they want to support me. I will let them.”
"I'll start over tomorrow." Try this instead: “Everything counts. I don’t want to keep starting over, I want to move forward and not give up on myself.
"Just one bite won't hurt." Try this instead: “One bite is not what usually goes down. Can I pause and circle back in 10 minutes when I don’t feel so grabby?”
"My family is so stressful, I deserve this." Try this instead: “I am stressed, I will not abandon myself right now. I can handle this.”
4. Arm Yourself with Mantras (And Tell Yourself the Truth)
When the justifications start whispering, you need to talk back. The romanticized idea that a binge will be fun or comforting is a lie. It hasn't delivered on its promise before, and it won't this time. Get clear on what you actually need—is it connection, freedom, or comfort? Food is just the mask.
"This is just another Thursday."
"This feeling/craving will pass. I just have to wait it out."
"I can do this. I am strong enough to handle this."
"My recovery is more important than this plate of food."
5. "Urge Surf" the Cravings
Cravings are temporary. They are waves that will crest and fall on their own if you just give them time. When you feel an intense urge to veer from your plan, commit to a 20-minute pause before acting.
Your 20-Minute Action Plan (Pick 3):
Excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. Splash cold water on your face.
Take five deep, slow breaths.
Text or call a supportive friend.
Drink a full glass of ice water.
Step outside for a blast of cold air.
Sit on your hands and repeat your mantra.
6. Connect with a Human
Have an accountability buddy. Share your plan with a trusted friend or family member and ask them to check in with you. If you're worried about navigating questions from others, have a script ready. A simple "I'm not feeling great, so I'm taking it easy" or "It all looks amazing, but I'm full!" is more than enough. You don't owe anyone a detailed explanation.
7. Lower the Bar. To the Floor.
You do not need to give 100% every day. If you are overwhelmed, give 40%, or even 10%. Accept that it is enough for today. Just do today, today. Treat yourself like a tired little kid. Are you hungry, thirsty, or sleepy? Sometimes the problem isn't emotional; you just need a snack and a nap. Forward is forward, no matter the speed.
8. If You Slip, Recover Fast
This is not about perfection; it's about harm reduction. If you deviate from your plan, the next most skillful move is to recover quickly and forgive yourself immediately. Don't let a slip become a slide into a full-blown shame spiral. The goal is to do less harm. Every moment is a new opportunity to get back on track. One of the most under rated skills is how quickly can you recover from being unskillful?
You are doing your best in a difficult situation. Stay connected to your wise mind, and don't abandon yourself. You can do this.
Keep fighting the good fight!
xx, Meghan