Style & Approach

I wrote this page for two kinds of readers: people thinking about therapy with me, and the therapists I train and supervise. Same values, two sides of the room.

My Guide for Therapists & Supervisors

1. Don't Make It Weird

If a client asks if I have a dog, I'm going to tell them about my dog. Do you have kids? Yep! Answering every casual, human question with "What comes up for you when you ask that?" isn't neutral, it's just weird. It teaches people that curiosity gets them distance instead of connection. Clinical skill is knowing the difference between a projection and a bid for relationship. People get to want to know basic things about you. We can handle it and model appropriate boundaries in meaningful ways.

2. Teach at least as much as Tik Tok

If your clients are getting more practical coping tools from random creators on social media, that's a problem. We are practicing in a chronic stress, high-stimulus world; skills like nervous system regulation, executive functioning scaffolds, and boundary scripts are not "extras," they're table stakes. If therapy is only insight with no action, it's half built. People need practical support more than ever!

3. The Big Three: Sex, Body & Relief-Seeking Behaviors

If we never talk about body image, sex, and how people self-soothe or chase relief through scrolling, shopping, food, porn, or work, we're missing the most common regulation strategies in modern life. These aren't side quests, they're central to how clients manage shame, loneliness, and activation. Avoiding them doesn't keep things light. It keeps things stuck.

4. Ethical Gestures are Clinical Interventions

A quick "Good luck with the presentation today!" or "Congrats on 60 days, I know how hard you worked for this!" isn't "bad boundaries"; it's regulating & relational. For many clients, those micro-touchpoints land as corrective experiences: "When something big happens, someone actually remembers me." We need nuance between over-involvement and disconnected in the name of "professionalism"

5. Healthy Self-Doubt Isn't Imposter Syndrome

The best therapists are in the know around not knowing. This work is sacred, and the most effective clinicians I know understand we don't have all the answers. We may miss something or get it wrong sometimes. Humility isn't a lack of skill, it's a clinical necessity. Healthy self-doubt is honoring the sacredness of the work.

6. Co-Regulation Before Self-Regulation

"Have you tried deep breathing?" is invalidating as hell if someone has never experienced their body as safe around another human. Sometimes the most evidence-based thing we do is sit with someone while they fall apart and don't get abandoned or judged for it. Self-soothing is built on a foundation of co-regulation and being soothed by another. Being unalone in your pain is more regulating than any coping skill you could ever learn. But teach those too!

7. Being a Good Therapist Means Being a Good Co-Pilot

Therapy isn't only "therapy" it's also:

• "Let's schedule that appointment right now."
• "Why don't we open the pile of mail during your session."
• "Let's review this dating profile together."
• "Let's look at the grocery delivery app and pick out five things that require zero prep for your high-stress days."
• "Let's read that email now, we can come up with a response together"
• "Let's write the letter of resignation now. You can send it during the session."

This is what we practice together in Therapy School, my live training for therapists. Take a look at Therapy School.

What to Expect in Therapy With Me

1. Direct, no-BS communication. We'll get straight to the heart of the matter because your time is valuable and you're here to change your life, we take that seriously and we laugh a lot.
2. A firm belief that therapy shouldn't last forever, or be an academic exercise. You can expect practical, evidence-based skills that you can actually use in your messy, real life.
3. A focus on action, not just insight. Understanding why you do something is great, but the real work of change is in practicing new ways of showing up and experiencing ourselves differently. Insight on its own doesn't change behavior, it actually often makes our patterns harder to bear.
4. Humor. We will laugh. Even when things are heavy, finding moments of lightness is part of the process and how we signal safety to our nervous systems.
5. A collaborative, "We're in this together" vibe. I'm an expert in treatment approaches, but you are the expert on your life. We'll combine our expertise to figure out what works for you.
6. Gentle, but honest, call-ins on patterns, truth and accountability. I will compassionately point out when you're getting in your own way. We'll look at the "why" without judgment and find a new way forward. Telling the truth to ourselves about ourselves is one of the bravest and hardest things we can do. We call them blindspots because, we can't see them.
7. The occasional, "This reminds me of a meme..." Because sometimes, a meme perfectly captures the ridiculousness of the human experience, and it's validating to know you're not the only one who feels that way.
8. A "come as you are" environment. There is no need to have it all figured out before you get here. Bring the mess, the uncertainty, the exhaustion. It's all welcome.
9. Permission to be imperfect. This is a space where you don't have to pretend. You can be human, make mistakes, and learn without shame. Progress over perfection, always.

I won't promise to "fix" you (because you're not broken), but I can promise to show up, be fully present, and walk alongside you with skill and compassion as you do the hard work of healing.