Hills I’ll Gladly Die on as a Therapist & Supervisor:

1. Don’t Make it Weird!

   If a client asks if I have a dog, I’m going to tell them about my dog. Do you have kids? Yep!

   Answering every casual, human questions with “What comes up for you when you ask that?” isn’t neutral, it’s weird as hell, and it teaches people that curiosity gets them distance, not connection.

   Clinical skill is knowing the difference between a projection and a bid for relationship. Don’t shame people for wanting to know basic things about you.

2. Teach at least as much as Tik Tok

   If your clients are getting more practical coping tools from random creators on social media, that’s a problem. We are practicing in a chronic stress, high‑stimulus world; skills like nervous system regulation, executive functioning scaffolds, and boundary scripts are not “extras,” they’re table stakes.

   If therapy is only insight with no action, it’s half built. People need practical support more than ever!

3. The Big Three: Bodies, Sex & Process Addictions

   If we never talk about body image, sex, and the ways people self‑soothe through scrolling, shopping, food, porn, or work, we’re missing the most common regulation strategies in modern life. If you aren’t comfortable talking about these topics, come to Therapy School!

   These aren’t side quests; they are central to how clients manage shame, loneliness, and activation. Avoiding them doesn’t keep things “light”, it actually keeps things stuck.

4. Ethical Gestures are Clinical Interventions

   A quick “Thinking of you, good luck with the presentation today!” or “Congrats on 60 days, I know how hard you worked for this!” isn’t “bad boundaries”; it’s regulating & relational.

   For many clients, those micro‑touchpoints land as corrective experiences: “When something big happens, someone actually remembers me.” We need nuance between over‑involvement and disconnected in the name of “professionalism”

5. Relational Therapy Requires a Relationship

   We cannot foster secure attachment from behind a glass wall. Owning it when we miss the mark, naming our reactions, or saying “I’m really glad you told me that” is not a boundary violation- it’s modeling. Clients learn how to be in relationships partly by being in a real one with us, not by talking about relationships in the abstract.

6. Co-Regulation Comes Before Self-Regulation

   “Have you tried deep breathing?” Is useless if someone has never experienced their body as safe around another human. Sometimes the most evidence‑based thing we do is sit with regulated posture, a soft face, and a steady voice while a client falls apart—and doesn’t get punished or abandoned for it. Self‑soothing is built on a foundation of being soothed.

   Being unalone in our pain is more regulating than any coping skill you could ever learn. But teach those too!

7. Being a Good Therapy Means Being a Good Co-Pilot

   Therapy isn’t only “therapy” it’s also:

   • “let’s schedule that appointment right now.”

   • “why don’t we open the pile of mail during your session.”

   • “lets review this dating profile together.”

   • "Let’s look at the grocery delivery app and pick out five things that require zero prep for your high-stress days."

   • “Let’s read that email now, we can come up with a response together”

   • “Let’s write the letter of resignation now. You can send it during session.”

     Direct, no-BS communication. We'll get straight into it, because your time is valuable and you're here to change your life, we take that seriously and we’ll probably laugh, a lot.

1. A firm belief that therapy shouldn't last forever, or be an academic exercise. You can expect practical, evidence-based skills that you can actually use in your messy, real life.

2. A focus on action, not just insight. Understanding why you do something is great, but the real work of change is in practicing new ways of showing up and experiencing ourselves differently. Insight on its own doesn’t change behavior, it actually often makes our patterns harder to bear.

3. Humor. We will laugh. Even when things are heavy, finding moments of lightness is part of the process and how we signal safety to our nervous systems.

4. A collaborative, "we're in this together" vibe. I'm an expert in treatment, but you are the expert on your life. We'll combine our expertise to figure out what works for you.

5. Gentle, but honest, call-ins on patterns, truth and accountability. I will compassionately point out when you're getting in your own way. We'll look at the "why" without judgment and find a new way forward. Telling the truth to ourselves about ourselves is one of the bravest and hardest things we can do. We call them blindspots because, we can’t see them.

6. The occasional, "This reminds me of a meme..." Because sometimes, a meme perfectly captures the ridiculousness of the human experience, and it's validating to know you're not the only one who feels that way.

7. A "come as you are" environment. There is no need to have it all figured out before you get here. Bring the mess, the uncertainty, the exhaustion—it's all welcome.

8. Permission to be imperfect. This is a space where you don't have to pretend. You can be human, make mistakes, and learn without shame. Progress over perfection, always.

9. I won’t promise to "fix" you (because you're not broken), but I can promise to show up, be fully present, and walk alongside you with skill and compassion as you do the hard work of healing.