Thanksgiving, a day often centered around feasting and family, can pose challenges for those with eating disorders or anyone striving for a more intentional celebration. Here's a concise three-step guide to help you navigate the holiday with grace and self-compassion.
We need an anchor, a mantra, and an exit strategy. Family and holidays are T-O-U-G-H! We got this.
1. Anchor Your Intentions: Establish a firm anchor, a guiding principle that keeps you aligned with your endgame. Think of it as your North Star, steering you back to your goals when faced with holiday temptations. Whether it's a specific eating plan, a commitment to self-care, or a focus on meaningful connection, let this anchor be your steadfast guide. This is your overall objective; how do I want to feel at the end of this? What do I want to prioritize? Who and how to I want to show up?
2. Embrace a Mantra: You know I love a good mantra for getting and staying skillful. Connect your anchor with a mantra—a short, powerful phrase that brings you back to the present moment. This mantra should resonate with your intentions for the holiday, reinforcing your commitment and mindfulness. When faced with challenges, repeat your mantra to ground yourself and stay the course. People are going to say things that may throw you, ask about something that may be triggering, politics, and general discomfort will arise. Family and holidays are T-O-U-G-H! Your Mantra is your grounding force evoking your highest self, and most important intention.
3. Have an Exit Strategy: Acknowledge that, despite the best plans, we can't control every aspect of the holiday gathering. Have a clear exit strategy in case things take an unexpected turn. This could mean excusing yourself for a moment of solitude, reaching out to a supportive friend, or simply taking a breather to recalibrate. An exit strategy provides a safety net, allowing you to maintain control over your well-being. The most important reason we have an exit strategy is to give us agency and ownership over our experience.
Putting It Into Practice:
- Anchor: Define your non-negotiables and recovery behaviors. Decide in advance what conversations, topics, foods and behaviors you will and won't indulge in. Having a plan beforehand ensures you're not making impulsive decisions in the moment.
- Mantra: Develop a simple, empowering mantra connected to your anchor. For example, "I am in control of my choices" or “I can handle this” or "Nourishing my body is an act of self-love." Repeat it as needed to reinforce your commitment.
- Exit Strategy: Plan your response for unexpected challenges. Whether it's a quick walk outside, a moment of deep breathing, a call to a trusted friend, an exit strategy allows you to regroup and stay true to your intentions.
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